This weekend I made an impromptu trip back home. I had actually been looking forward to the trip all week, but the minute I sat in my seat on the plane my eyes filled with tears and I had to fight them back for the rest of the hour and twenty minute flight.
I was actually surprised by the tears. Not that tears are any stranger to me these days since they are pretty much a daily occurrence. I was surprised by the tears because this isn’t the first time I have been home since my mom passed away three months ago. This is actually the third time. I didn’t cry those first two times when Danny and I set off on the drive to Brownsville even though I knew I wouldn’t be seeing my mom at the other end. I didn’t even cry when we pulled up to the house and I knew she wouldn’t be waiting inside. So why were the tears coming now just sitting on a plane?
I realized this was the first trip I had made home by myself. Danny had been with me the first two times which I guess helped me keep my mind off things. I also tend to not cry in front of people because it makes me feel awkward. So silly I know. This was also the first time I had flown home since my mom passed away. I knew that when I landed at our tiny airport in Brownsville I would not see both of my parents goofily smiling and waving at me as I made my way towards them. That is probably the best part of flying into a small airport. People stand there and wait for you to come off the plane instead of just picking you up outside of baggage claim.
I guess somehow my dad knew that I would need my spirits brightened. He was there waiting for me even though my flight got in twenty minutes early. He was standing there goofily smiling as usual and holding up a sign that had my name on it. He said someone else had been there holding up a sign for a doctor and he wanted to make sure I felt important too! Mission accomplished. I know I am the most important thing to my dad who would do anything just to get a smile out of me.
All that emotion before I even got to the real reason for my trip home! I went home to see my grandparents. Both of my mom’s parents have been going through some pretty rough stuff recently. My grandpa has been in the hospital for about a month with stomach and kidney problems. About a week ago they told us it was stomach cancer. The very next day my grandma was walking out of the house to go to church and she fell down and broke her wrist and her pelvis.
My grandma is doing better than I expected. We were all worried at first that she would be bed ridden for the next few months while she waited for her pelvis to heal but fortunately the break isn’t too horrible and she is able to sit up and move her legs. She can’t get out of the bed on her own or walk on her own yet but at least she won’t have to be immobilized for months and just laying flat in a bed. When my dad and I got to the rehab facility to see her on Saturday she was sitting in a wheel chair and had just gotten back from therapy where she said they make her try to walk and do leg exercises. She is a strong willed lady who hates not being able to do things on her own so I think she will be ok.
My grandpa on the other hand hasn’t gotten the greatest news. He is too weak to do anything about the cancer. Both chemo and the surgery to remove part of the stomach would be too much on his already weak body. The decision has been made to send him home so he can enjoy whatever time he has left. He looked really good when we saw him on Saturday. He ate well, sounded good and said he wasn’t having any stomach pain. My hope is that whatever happens, he is pain free. Who knows, he might surprise us all and have another year of life left in him. If not, at least I know my mom will be there waiting for him with open arms when he gets to Heaven.
I bet that is why she went before all the rest of us. She just had to make sure that Heaven really was perfect for all of her loved ones and so we would know that a familiar face would be waiting for us when we got there.
This morning I was packing up my lunch and snacks for work. I pulled a few kiwi out of the carton and was going to slice them up when I realized all my Tupperware was dirty. I decided to put them back and just pack an apple instead. When I took a second look at the carton I realized there was a picture of a little girl with half a kiwi in her hand and she was eating it with a spoon and looked very happy.
